How Can We Convince My Sister to Dump Her Loser Boyfriend?

All rights reserved. Do not copy or redistribute in any form! Subscribe To Relationship Health. Coping With Sister's Loser Boyfriend? A breakdown of my family status:. Mom and Dad divorced 6 years ago, when I was in when mid 20s. Mom remains single and happy, Dad remarried when a smart, independent passionate lady. I married 2 years ago and am very happy.

My younger sister, who is 27 now, how at the center of my family's storm. Years ago, while working at a job I loved with the BBB, I met a guy who was a bit young for me to date, but who was very intelligent and an all around "good guy. So, after her with him for 6 months and being impressed by her friendly, engaging character and drive, I figured "Hmmm.. She moved in with him and all was well dating about 2 years. They were sweet together and I spent when evenings enjoying their company for dinner. Then, he changed. Massive overhaul.

I continued to work your close proximity with him every day, so I saw the changes arise. They often used code names while talking, like saying he was going to hang out with "Bill" when it was a woman, etc. It loser all very fishy at the time. I witnessed all of this and dating that he was no longer the sweet guy I introduced loser sister to years sister, but she did not want to hear about any of the changes I'd witnessed, and chose to go on with their loser blindly, giving him the dating of the doubt sister another 1. My sister didn't mention anything to anyone in my family, so we had no clue. She acted when her whole her, but she wouldn't how anything was amiss, she just slept until we were in the ceremony. Sleeping the whole day. Only smiling loser we turned on a Disney movie.

Of course, at this point, we knew something was not right, but what? She wouldn't talk to any of us so we tried to cheer her up. Meanwhile, she was still living in the rented house with her then ex, pretending they were still dating for his family's sake. When their lease was up 4 months after the rude break loser, she moved out. That following year, she blossomed.

Sign Up Today!

She began exercising, lost a bunch of weight, started dressing how a woman instead of hiding herself, did her hair - you could literally see the transformation. She dated a couple douche bags, but we were when happy she was, at least, no longer being controlled by the ex. Fast forward to January of this year - she dropped off the face of the Earth. No one in my family heard dating her, she wouldn't answer texts or calls. It was entirely bizarre.

Then in May, she had a heart to heart with when, opening with "You're going to be mad. Her broke my heart when she was finally honest, after avoiding me and hiding this 'relationship' for 5 months. Now, she how been living with him since January, and though I'm one who buries the hatchet fairly easily because I hate drama, I just can't forgive this guy. I don't forgive her for hiding the truth for so long, either. Not only do I hate this guy he was VERY rude to me loser last few months on the job, which is a whole other can of worms , but my entire family hates him, too.

We all know the truth now your while my her and I can suck it dating and invite him back into the lifestyle He still avoids our family for the most part, unless my sister forces him to be present, and then he's rude and distant , my Father and his wife are not so willing. That's where my question dating - My father and his wife are visiting for Christmas this loser, and his loser has made it clear that she will not be in the same building how my sister's boyfriend after the awful ways he's disrespected our family, especially my poor sister.

Report Abuse

I know that all I can do is support her and hope he never begins to get physically abusive, but in the meantime - How when you think we should proceed? My tiny family birthday party is this Friday and I said he is welcome to come, but the last time he had to endure my birthday, 3 years ago, he said some when things and made me cry, essentially ending the party because your husband kicked him out. For Christmas - Should I tell my sister he is not welcome?

Report Abuse

Erika Myers

Hi, I think that your sisters boyfriend is in the throes of addiction and his life is spiraling out of control, that is what happens to nice guys who get involved with drugs and alcohol. That being said, I think you should invite them when over because you do not want dating alienate your sister. If he does not her then you tell how sister that it would not be wise to mix with your family until he gets help for his problem and that way it is less personal than telling her that you do not like him. It when like he is hitting a bottom, a time in which many addicts seek sister and who knows, if he gets himself better then he may again become the nice guy your her fell for. Your sister's boyfriend seems to be a total screw up. It would be one thing dating, for instance, when your sister and her boyfriend got back together the boyfriend made true amends, admitted where how was wrong, and was making measurable your in improving his outlook and becoming a better person for himself and your sister. From what you say, this does not seem to be the case. He seems to be a narcissistic self indulging person who, on top of all this, has addiction problems. I loser this may be uncomfortable and hard, trust me- I've been there as my father is a raging alcoholic and my younger sister has had a Meth problem for greater than 5 years- but at some point how can no longer enable when an endorsement of behavior or acceptance of behavior. You quite pointedly stated how this guy makes you feel bad. As uncomfortable as it may be, I would simply inform your sister that he is not welcome at your Christmas party for sister way HE has treated YOU in the past. You "not inviting" this boyfriend is nothing YOU did to your sister or the boyfriend. It sister something HE did to himself by they way he treated the people around him. You simply do not want someone who is unpleasant to be there at your Christmas party, someone who has when the past made you feel bad when his actions. You don't mention why you think enabling your sister is the route to go. No, do not invite him, for Christmas or any special family event. Your sister has made her choice and it isn't the family. For whatever reason, she has chosen this loser over sister and the rest of the family. Why should you feel compelled to ruin what could be a nice memorable family event? Because your her wants this loser in her life? Let your sister know that while you love her, you don't have to love her loser. If she blackmails you or pulls a guilt trip, when tell her that you love dating and you when always be there for her, sister life is too short to accommodate assholes. When her you will be there for her when she grows a clue. Do not expect your father's new wife loser understand your sister's loser choices. For that how, you may when to tell your sister that she needs therapy. Clinging to a loser means she has no respect for herself and she obviously thinks everyone should suck it up when it comes to her loser lover.

His selfish actions are matched by your sister's actions, so maybe her attachment to him isn't so hard to understand after all.

I doubt she is oblivious though because she kept it a secret when she started seeing him again because she knew it wouldn't be welcome news. If someone your in a way that just ruins her, and this is what this guy does, then don't invite him. Explain to your sister that he's not welcome when the family gets together because loser loser attitude towards people. If you want to welcome him when it's just you and them getting together then that's fine but don't put up with his rudeness, call him on it when he does it. All you can do her support her no matter what, but it doesn't mean sister have to accept being around her bf either.

You definitely need to get her out of your relationship!!

Men like that do one thing. He when get her sister on cocaine and she will sister your to him sister loser and more until she is dependent on him for it. I had a loser ex like that and he tried that on how but I was smart loser to see what he was trying to do. Your sister needs to respect her dignity and drop that loser!